Your Success and Your Habits.
(Lessons from Game of Thrones)
“One negative habit is capable of undermining your competence, charisma, and good intentions”
Robert Baratheon was a great warrior in the TV series, Game of Thrones. He led the rebellion against the mad king and was crown King of the seven kingdoms and the protector of the realm after the defeat of the mad king. Alas, he ended up a terrible king that could not even rule his household. In fact, some said a mad king was replaced by a foolish king! What made him a terrible ruler? It was simply his negative habits!
He had two dangerous habits that have ruined men from time immemorial, wine and women. He was always drunk and whoring around, to the extent that he did not realise that he was not the father of the children under his roof. It was so pathetic!
Early last month, I got a call from a former colleague, requesting that I help him intervene as he was about to be sacked. When I asked, “what he had done wrong”? He gave me a poorly crafted story. I knew he was telling a lie, but I still tried to stop the sack by placing a call to those in charge. It turned out that he was being sacked for the same thing we’ve been warning him about, even when I was still there. And that is his drinking habit! I was told he got worse when I left, to the extent that the company had to seize his salary in an attempt to starve him of cash, as a way of curbing his drinking habit. Howbeit, my plea fell on deaf ears because the management felt they have had enough of him, and so he was sacked.
In a country where getting a job is a job, he threw his to the dogs, because of a single bad habit. One thing I have observed in life is that everybody cannot be wrong about you. If everyone, (both your subordinates and your superiors) keep complaining of a particular habit that you possess, my friend, look inwards and change before that habit would ruin you.
Personally, before now, I hardly apologise. I believe my actions are always fair and just, and so there was nothing to apologise even if someone feels offended. No matter the pressure, I would stand my ground, and give a thousand and one reasons to justify my words and actions. My closest friends got used to it, and at times would apologise on my behalf to broker peace. But as I kept working on myself to become better, I realise that what seems right in my eyes might be offensive to another, so apologising was not because I was wrong, but because the other person feels offended. To maintain that friendship, I have to accept it and move on. The world is brighter and better that way than the bitterness and anger disagreements generate. Today, I am not that kind of person anymore, and it has helped me become more friendly, and acceptable in many circles that I find myself.
Just as Robert Baratheon endangered his friend’s life, Ned Stark, with his bad habits, that is how you endanger the life of your loved ones with your bad habit. They suffer the consequences of that habit with you, and in some cases, they suffer it more than you do. Some end up tarnishing the name and image of the entire family, tribe, religion, and nation because of their bad habits. I recall how my friends were always accused of not being truthful each time they try to defend my position. They knew asking me to apologise would be an effort in futility, so they would rather plead with the aggrieved person to just forget the issue and let go. This was emotionally tormenting for them too.
Like my former colleague that was sacked for his drinking habits, his dependants will be suffering it now. His wife and innocent children we all bear the brunt of his uncontrolled drinking habit. At the end of the day, everyone is affected.
Some persons try to defend themselves by saying that is my bad habit, I know, just deal with it. My friend, nobody will help you deal with your bad habit. All those tolerating it now would only do so as long as it does not endanger them. Once their lives are threatened by your bad habits, they will cut you lose, and that fall will be thunderous.
What is that bad habit you possess that your friends and family members are always warning you about?
Better change now before it leads to your ruin!
You have difficulties fixing a bad habit, then let’s talk. We can be of help!
Have a fruitful week ahead!
IDEDE Oseyande, a graduate of the Federal University of Technology, Akure, is an unrepentant believer in the Nigeria project.
His concern for the actualisation of a prosperous nation and the continent, in general, is reflected in his written works.
He currently runs an online advocacy platform (www.socialwatchdog.ng) where he engages the government and the people.
Among his published works are ‘What is Left of What is Right?’, ‘The Portrait of a Revolutionary Leader’ and ‘Warri No Dey Carry Last’.
He is a guest writer for several blogs and his Attitudinal and Behavioral Coaching classes has transformed many lives.