The Winning Attitude -3

The Winning Attitude -3


“Tactfulness is telling someone to go to hell and he is looking forward to the amazing trip”.

A man was rushing down to ask for help from a senior colleague at his place of work. Due to either his bad habits or unpredictable life challenges, things have been rough for him lately. This made his request for help frequent and had become irritating to his benefactor.

On that fateful day, as he opened the gates to the house of his benefactor, with only his head and a foot in the compound, his benefactor saw him and angrily told him to just go back if he was there to make another request.


“One kobo, I don’t have to give you”, he shouted, drawing the attention of other occupants of the building.

The benefactor might be justified to be weary of the man’s constant begging for help, however, he has no justification to have delivered the message in such manner. He lacked tactfulness.

When you act without tact, you end up being the one to apologise instead of being the recipient of the apology.

Whether we are in the position of #authority or not, we all need to be tactful in dealing with others. We must learn to turn down requests, share contrary opinions, debate, and argue over issues with #tact (#diplomacy), so as not to attract avoidable problems to ourselves.

Every time you have to explain to others that you don’t mean what you said, or that you did not see what you said from the way they are interpreting it. If this is you, then it means you need to be tactful in your words. When people feel uncomfortable each time you share your opinion, or they always ‘misconstrue’ your views, it is a pointer that you lack the needed tactfulness to be a team player without causing division among team members with your tactless use of words.

“I am very #blunt!”, I hear you, you have become the back of a machete. That bluntness will soon cause you unimaginable calamity if you don’t begin to nurture and practice the art of tactfulness.

You might think that you have earned the right to talk and act #tactlessly, but those who you think are worthless and inferior to you might make bringing you down their only goal in life, and by any means. No one have the right to throw ill-conceived words at others. You never cannot tell the type of seed it will sow in the mind of the offended.

Some employers have endangered the health and the lives of their children from the way they addressed their domestic staff. Words roughly spoken can create a very dangerous stir in the mind of the hearers, and they will start plotting to harm you. They might not be able to get at you, but they will go for soft targets which can be your spouses, your children or your business interests

Remember, ‘soft words turn away strife’, therefore, let your words be seasoned with grace, that it may bring hope to the hearers.

Be #wise.

Idede Oseyande


Twitter: @idede_oses


About the author

Idede Oseyande

IDEDE Oseyande, a graduate of the Federal University of Technology, Akure, is an unrepentant believer in the Nigeria project.
His concern for the actualisation of a prosperous nation and the continent, in general, is reflected in his written works.

He currently runs an online advocacy platform (www.socialwatchdog.ng) where he engages the government and the people.

Among his published works are 'What is Left of What is Right?', 'The Portrait of a Revolutionary Leader' and 'Warri No Dey Carry Last'.

He is a guest writer for several blogs and his Attitudinal and Behavioral Coaching classes has transformed many lives.

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