Motivational Series

Retrogressive Actions- 2

Retrogressive Actions– 2

By Idede Oseyande

Coercion Instigated Actions

“And she said unto him, How canst thou say, I love thee, when thine heart is not with me? thou hast mocked me these three times, and hast not told me wherein thy great strength lieth.

And it came to pass, when she pressed him daily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death;

That he told her all his heart, and said unto her, There hath not come a razor upon mine head; for I have been a Nazarite unto God from my mother’s womb: if I be shaven, then my strength will go from me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man.” Judges 16:15-17 (KJV)

The excerpt above is from the popular biblical story of Samson. For those familiar with the story, you will recall that Samson decided to reveal his secret to his lover, Delilah, out of coercion. This was a mistake that cost him his life and ministry.

Just like in the days of Samson, the situation is still the same today. Many times we take decisions against our will, succumbing to peer pressures, marital pressures, societal pressures, etc. Ironically, when push comes to shove, or things start to crumble, those who once coerced you to take such decisions will not be there to bear the brunt of the actions you took.

If you try to drag them into the mess or make them share the responsibility of fixing the mess your actions created, they will be quick to remind you that they did not force you to take the decision. Or they did not put a gun to your head when you took the actions.

This is my guiding principle that has been my bulwark against coercion. I analyse the situation with this simple question.

If it goes well who will be the biggest beneficiary me or the person coercing me?

If it goes wrong who will bear the brunt me or the person coercing me?

If the answers to both questions make me the major recipient of the result of that action (whether good or bad), I make sure that I shut out the influence of that coercion and take action based on my terms and understanding of the situation.

You must learn to make a conscious effort not to take any action or make decisions due to coercion.

It is twice as painful when you are suffering from an action you took based on coercion. To avoid such disappointment and heartbreak, shield yourself from coercive forces.

Remember Samson!

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@idede_oses

About the author

Idede Oseyande

IDEDE Oseyande, a graduate of the Federal University of Technology, Akure, is an unrepentant believer in the Nigeria project.
His concern for the actualisation of a prosperous nation and the continent, in general, is reflected in his written works.

He currently runs an online advocacy platform (www.socialwatchdog.ng) where he engages the government and the people.

Among his published works are 'What is Left of What is Right?', 'The Portrait of a Revolutionary Leader' and 'Warri No Dey Carry Last'.

He is a guest writer for several blogs and his Attitudinal and Behavioral Coaching classes has transformed many lives.

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