Opinion

Are Men Destined to Be Misunderstood by Kids?

Written by Idede Oseyande

Are Men Destined to be Misunderstood by Kids?

Growing up I misunderstood my father for a very long time. I was an untamed and a noisy talker. Being the child of a teacher, holiday seasons are always hell for me. The reason is obvious, my Dad will be on holidays too.

In an attempt to tame me, he made me the victim of every noise that emanates from the children’s room. Once the house gets too noisy for his comfort, he walks to our room, and if he intends to flog just one person, without being told, I know that would be me.
It got to a point that I wrote a poem, expressing his dislike for me.

One night, while he was discussing general family matters with one of our church member, who also doubles as a close family friend, I heard him tell that man (Mr Osadolor, the father of Aisosa Osadolor) how my brilliance was his consolation in the payment of my school fees. He also expressed his concern over my playful and noisy nature. Both men were sharing their mutual pains over growing family bills.

It was the first time I heard my Dad praise me. I felt like standing up from the mat that I laid on to give him a hug. But that would give them guilty consciences, because they had discussed many things, with the mindset that I was sleeping. Things that were too heavy for a boy my age to hear. ‘Real elderly Men talk’.

For about three weeks now, I have been battling with my three nieces and two nephews that have come to spend the holidays. I have tried to be the best uncle they can ever wish for. Play with them, and also prune whatever bad trait they were nursing.

Two days ago, they started ‘gossiping’ me. My elder brother son was asking my elder sister’s daughter why her mum, who happened to be around now, keeps quiet when I am disciplining them? He wanted to know why she does not stop me since she was older than me?

While they were doing the ‘tete a tete’ my elder sister overheard them and told me.

I laughed seriously!

Most men hate this part of a man’s job. They don’t want to be misunderstood or seen as the monster in the house. But it comes with the job. As a man, you must have the heart to see the child frown, cry, and be angry, as long as your intentions are altruistic. As long as it is not out of hate, and it is for the good of the child, carry on!

You’re not in a competition with your wife on who the kids will love the most. When they grow up to be better adults, they will understand and appreciate all that you did for them.

The holidays are almost over, and I would miss these lovely kids and their many troubles!

IDEDE Oseyande

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About the author

Idede Oseyande

IDEDE Oseyande, a graduate of the Federal University of Technology, Akure, is an unrepentant believer in the Nigeria project.
His concern for the actualisation of a prosperous nation and the continent, in general, is reflected in his written works.

He currently runs an online advocacy platform (www.socialwatchdog.ng) where he engages the government and the people.

Among his published works are 'What is Left of What is Right?', 'The Portrait of a Revolutionary Leader' and 'Warri No Dey Carry Last'.

He is a guest writer for several blogs and his Attitudinal and Behavioral Coaching classes has transformed many lives.

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