An Open Letter to Nigerian Parents.
Calvary greetings in the name of our Lord and saviour, Jesus Christ.
I have long to write to you, to inform you of what your kids expect from you, but with your busy schedules, I was worried that the letter might go unnoticed, just like my previous articles.
Howbeit, in light of the prevailing conditions across the globe, I believe you will spare some time to go through this.
As a teen coach, I have been privileged to hear #jaw-dropping #information from teens, and most times, they languish in silence, not because they don’t want to share it with you, but because you don’t seem to listen.
In some cases, you increase the pressure on them by an #over-bloated assumption of their wellbeing. In other not to disappoint you, they carry the #facade that all is well, while they seek solace among their peers, or burn in silence.
This letter will be too long if I should go into many details, but to help you have a grasp of what I am talking about, I will use examples you can connect with.
When last did you try to understand the #psychological state or your child?
How much have you tried to understand your child and to teach him some basic guiding principles you believe in?
In 1995, I came home one day from school and entered the house as #stealthily as possible, ensuring the gate did not make noise. My mum was at home and did not hear the sound of the gate. Curiously, she asked how I managed to get in without the gate shrieking. I told her a friend of mine taught me in school how to sneak through doors and gates without being noticed.
Ignorantly, I said it from a sincere mind. Immediately, my mum #cautioned me not to ever try it again, she made me understand that it is only thieves that need to sneak into rooms.
She wouldn’t have been able to do that if she was not paying attention to my attitude.
There is another theory my mum holds dear, which I have seen manifest in other people’s life. It is about telling a child the story concerning his/her birth. She strongly believes it helps give the child a divine direction and purpose in life.
Last year, when I adopted my son, I asked what was his native name, as I have a strong knack for African names. He told me he did not have any. But then, he added that his name was not just a routine foreign/ English name. It has a history. Of course, I was interested in the story.
When his mother conceived him, things were extremely difficult and tough. She said it was indeed a trying time for her and the family. But a few weeks before his birth, things started taking shape. And that was what made her christen him ‘#Goodluck’!
So I asked him, do you believe the name is following you? He said, yes. Each time his mum calls him on the phone, she reassures him that all will be well, as he will always attract good luck.
While you try to build that connection, the story of the birth of the child is a good way to start. It gives you an avenue to sow the vision for that child #future. Once the child connects to it, it helps him to fight peer pressure as he is #convinced within himself that he has a higher purpose in life.
It helps the child to be comfortable in his skin even when he is different from his peers.
There is much more to write about, but let me stop here for now. Hopefully, you will hear from me again as the #stay-home stay #safe persist.
Remember, when we build a #family, we build a #community!
To a happy and #united family 🍷🍷
A & B Coach.
IDEDE Oseyande, a graduate of the Federal University of Technology, Akure, is an unrepentant believer in the Nigeria project.
His concern for the actualisation of a prosperous nation and the continent, in general, is reflected in his written works.
He currently runs an online advocacy platform (www.socialwatchdog.ng) where he engages the government and the people.
Among his published works are ‘What is Left of What is Right?’, ‘The Portrait of a Revolutionary Leader’ and ‘Warri No Dey Carry Last’.
He is a guest writer for several blogs and his Attitudinal and Behavioral Coaching classes has transformed many lives.